


Decisions and Jealousy

by kayla_desirae_collins



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Flirting with Crowley, Jealous Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 14:20:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4880146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayla_desirae_collins/pseuds/kayla_desirae_collins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alone in your room, cleaning and singing to yourself, the Winchesters decide its time for you to be properly introduced to two valuable assets. Once you get passed the opening lines, you start to detect a sense of jealousy and another of clear want.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Properly Introduced

The sound of music filled the air in your room. One of your favorite slow songs; 'When You Say Nothing At All' by Alison Krauss. A smile lit up your face as you stopped cleaning for a moment. Sure it wasn't by the original singer, but this version was sung by a girl, in which you could relate. 

"It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart  
Without saying a word you can light up the dark  
Try as I may I could never explain  
What I hear when you don't say a thing"

You sang along. The boys loved your singing, and they loved when you would actually sing around them. You weren't the best singer, and you didn't like to sing in front of people, but a simple comment you heard changed your perspective. 'When she sings, it reminds me of mom," Dean said to Sam just as you walked around the corner of a random motel. You weren't meant to hear it, especially since he spoke out in a hushed whisper, but it made you smile a little. You thought you had a tough childhood, but when you met the brothers, you changed the meaning of "Tough", and changed your predicament to "irregular". At the opportunity to give them peace, you would sing softly to comfort them. Especially after long hunts, or when there was a feud going on between them. 

"The smile on your face lets me know that you need me  
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me  
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall  
You say it best when you say nothing at all"

Even though they were researching for this other hunt in the library, you were off cleaning your room up. The other rooms that needed a touch up, would of course be next. You continued to sing along. 

"All day long I can hear people talking out loud  
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd  
Old Mr. Webster could never define  
What's being said between your heart and mine"

As you turned around to dispose of some trash, a figure moved in the door way. Glancing up, you found it to be Dean, leaning against the door with an unforced smile. These smiles were your favorite, especially when you received them from both Sam and himself. 

"Hey, what's up?" you asked questionably. 

"Please, I didn't mean to interrupt, don't stop on my account." he answered; clearly talking about your singing. You flashed him a smile. 

"The smile on your face lets me know that you need me  
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me  
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall  
You say it best when you say nothing at all"

You crooned meaningly as you made your way over to him. You stood about a foot away from him as you watched him. He looked exhausted, and no doubt Sammy would look the same. You wrapped you arms around him, pulling him in for a comforting hug. He accepted it gracefully, and returned the squeeze. As you pulled away, you gave him a confidence booster. 

"Hey, it will be okay. We will find whatever this thing is, and we'll save people. Like we always do because it's what we do. We can't save everyone, death would be mad for putting him out of business." Dean grinned ear to ear. 

"Well, we certainly don't want that." he agreed. After a moment, you wondered what they have found so far. 

"Anything new?" 

"Nothing. We've got nothing." he said, forcing the light upward pull of his lips. 

"Well, I know your a Winchester and all, but the stubbornness needs to subside for a moment. You and Sam need to take a break; sleep, eat, go for a walk. Do something besides what your doing. The world won't be on hold for your break, but neither is your physical health when your caught up in research. In order for you to save more lives, you have to be living." you stated. He knew you were referring to the lack of sleep and food they had. And you were right, it wasn't healthy, nothing about this life was. 

"I know, little bit," he paused only to allow his nickname for you to sink in,"me and Sam want you to meet some people." 

You accepted his invitation, and turned your music down before following him out. On your way to the library, your thoughts traveled to his name for you. Little bit. He never explained why exactly he started this up, because he didn't have to. The reason was simple. Even though you were 5'7, and he and Sam still towered over you. 

As you entered the library, Sam was leaning against a desk, his computer shut, and two other men were standing around him. They were in mid discussion when one of the men looked up at you. His blue eyes were erratic and boy, were they beautiful. You stared into them for a long while, consuming yourself in them. Damn. 

"(y/n), this is Castiel," Dean turned back to you as he pointed to the one who owned the blue eyes. "And this,... Well this is Crowley." he announced pointing to the other man. Your gaze moved from Castiel to the man named Crowley. 

He was in a black suit with shiny black shoes. His red tie was the only vibrant color on his person. A little more than a light scruble was on his face, and a smile placed upon his lips. You followed Dean closer to the group, as you watched mesmerized. Why did everyone in this life, have to be so freaking hot. Especially when you could look, but not touch. 

"Hello," you managed shakily; the nerves getting the best of you. "I'm (y/n)," you gave as you held your hand out to Crowley. He took it as he smiled. After a light hand shake, he raised your hand up and placed a kiss above your knuckles. 

"Well now, what do we have here. What a beautiful soul," he admitted as a tease. Over to his left, Castiel shifted uncomfortably. Crowley looked over at him with a clear look of annoyance only to be given one in return. He focused back on you and he rubbed his fingers gently over your knuckles. " Names Crowley. To you love, I owe the pleasure." *Holy Hell. I might be able to touch after all.* you thought. You didn't realize you were blushing(red as a fire engine) until Dean interrupted with a remark, and Sammy with a snicker. 

"You two want to be alone for a while? Should Sammy, Cas, and I go out for a drink?" Your face felt feverish. Before you could give your usual sarcastic remark, you looked up at Crowley. His expression showed Dean's idea would be a good one. 

"Dean, that is inappropriate," Cas said boomingly. You were taken back by the gruff, deepness to his voice. Hot damn. Your eyes had long since left Crowley's and were on Castiel. This time, you took in more of his appearance. He wore a tan trench coat, a black suit, and a white dress shirt. His tie was blue and they really went well with his gorgeous eyes. His stubble was almost nonexistent, and his sideburns were nearly irrelevant. His hair was spiked up a bit, but for the most part, it was kempt. 

You totally stood there and checked him out. Seriously, what was up with all this male hotness; I mean, surely all this testosterone isn't healthy for a girl with cravings. First the Winchester brothers and now two more additions. Yea, maybe Sam and Dean were off limits. Hell, they were like your brothers now, you could never see yourself with one of them. But these other two, they weren't labeled into the "family" catagory yet. These two, you could play with. Especially blue eyes. He seemed rather exotic; and the voice was a positive plus. 

"Well, (y/n). Your quite the people person today, " Sam joked harmlessly. The tension in the atmosphere vanished. You smiled to Sam and looked at Dean. He stood from where he leaned next to Sam. 

"Now that were all acquainted with, and we're getting friendly, I think I'm going to get a beer." Dean expressed as he slipped a quick peek at you while smiling and shook his head. Sam moved back to around the computer and sat in his chair. He left the laptop closed, and lifted his arms as he enclosed his entwined fingers behind his head. 

"Sweet heart, I have a statement for you," Crowley admitted. Sam and Cas eyed him. Curiously. You replied with a hum and sided smile. "You have very nice legs," he said as he eyed you down from your head, all the way down to your toes. "What time do they open?" Your expression changed to shock immediately, and you felt your face flush all over again. Castiel stiffened, and Sam let out an exasperated sigh. 

"Really Crowley," he quizzed. You shook your head to shake off the heat gathering on your face. Shifting your weight, you turned back to Sam to show your expression. You mouthed the words "Who is this guy?" with a smile playing at your mouth. 

"Seriously love, do you want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me." You turned back to him with your jaw dropped. 

"Your definitely not shy about what you want, are you?" you asked even though you already obtained the answer. He gave you a smile that was displayed ear to ear. "I mean, I don't think that's a latter in your pocket and I'm sure as hell, it's no stairway to heaven." 

"Wow, this is getting worse by the second," Sam eased as he shook his head like his brother. 

"Oh, trust me darling. I could take care of you. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions or other preferences." Crowley played back. 

"Well Crowley, I do have to say, my name isn't Elmo, but sugar, you can tickle me anytime." you suppressed a giggle right as Dean came in with two beers. He handed one to Sam, and looked up at Cas. 

"Cas? You ok? You look like something has crawled up your ass." Dean acknowledged. You looked over to him, and he looked beside himself. You could feel the steam that was radiating off of him. Wait? Was he getting jealous? The previous comment he made about you and Crowley being alone made since now. Ho Lee Shit. 

He gave Dean a death stare and walked over and sat by Sam. He faced Crowley now and he watched him with complete and utter hatred. Dean shot his gaze to Sam with a raised brow as if to ask what exactly was going on. 

" Dean you just missed the show." Sam intregued. 

"What? What show. Whats going on, what did I miss?" Dean pushed nosily. 

"He didn't miss anything moose, were just getting started." Crowley shined a smile. " In fact, I was just fixing to ask (y/n), if she'd like to come over sometime for some pizza and sex." he paused for a moment after he turned toward you. "You do eat pizza, don't you love?" Smiling back you answered his question. 

"Absolutely, especially if your my pizza man." you respond. Before anything else was said, the nonsilent, heard voice of Castiel rang through the bunker. 

"Crowley, this is enough." he threatened barely without yelling. Dean and Sam exchanged challenging smiles. They knew what was happening. Crowley kept his eyes on you, completely unphased by the deep voiced threat. 

"Baby, I'm glad we're in a library, because I'm checking you out." He continued. You bit your lip on this one and smiled a big toothy grin as you looked up to the ceiling for a moment. 

"Crowley I have a question for you. Are you religious? Because I think your the answer to my prayers." They all chuckled at this one; except for Cas of course. Sam felt that Dean and himself should may have shared that Crowley was the king of hell and Castiel was an angel of the Lord, before they even let this begin. Dean, however; found this whole thing amusing. 

"Well gorgeous, I went and had this suit made specifically for church-like events." he retorted as he looked down to his coat and pulled on the end of his sleeve. "It had to be special ordered because this material, well you see, it's boyfriend material." Dean lost it. He was rolling and his actions made Sam laugh against his will. 

"This isn't funny Dean! The suit is made out of regular material and Crowley is by far any means of religious." Castiel admitted as he stood from his seat. Dean pulled himself together due to the heavy remarks. 

"Cas, it is funny. You just don't understand is all." 

"No Dean. I do understand. What they are doing, is an attempt at flirtation. It's not funny, they are referring to fornication. It's not supposed to be funny, it's supposed to be serious and full of compassion. It's supposed to be between two committed people." he started to get upset at the lack of understanding from his point of view. But his sense caught you off guard. His opinion on sexual activity was kind of adorable. What would it be like to sleep with Cas? Would he be gentle? Of course he would. He would be the love maker, and Crowley is clearly the fucker. Hot kinky sex, or the passionate, slow pace, horizontal salsa? Is it bad to say that both choices could come in handy. Man, you needed a man. How long has it been two-four-seven... months? Damn. How on earth have you stayed sane this long. 

You were brought back to attention as you heard a flutter of wings and the disappearance of Castiel. What the hell. Where did he go. Sam must have saw your confused state, because he spoke up. 

"We need to talk to you about something. Cas, well he's different." he tried to explain. 

"You don't say. I mean first off, he used the word "fornication"," you quoted with your fingers. "And two, what the hell was that. Where did he go-how did he go."

"He's an angel, (y/n)." Dean answered. With this life, you came to realize a long time ago that everything was or could be real. Not only that, but you had met an angel before. But he wasn't like Castiel. He acted like a regular person and he disliked using his angel mojo. 

"Oh," you responded. You looked between the brothers and Crowley. You smiled at him and we're dismissing yourself. "Well, I'm going to go finish up in my room and hopefully make my way in here before midnight." you explained as you picked up Dean's now empty beer bottle and walked it to the kitchen trash.  
___________________________________________


	2. Make A Move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After your tucked into bed, the guys press the angel for the truth. For some unknown reason, he won't openly admit his feelings and Crowley decides to take action. After giving him a chance and the angel blows it, Crowley plays fair game and takes complete control of his feelings.

(The next day)

This morning had been pretty relaxed. When you woke up, you were greeted with four sets of eyes instead of two and the usual good mornings. The angel had come back, all signs of anger were absent. Your eyes flashed to Crowley and a smile slipped on your face without full consent. You turned away from them and headed to the fridge. Little did you know, the absent anger was slowly resurfacing. 

You grabbed a blueberry yogurt parfait you had made the night before and a bottle of water. You made your way over to the table, as Dean motioned to Cas from behind Sam's computer. 

"Your in her seat Cas," he said groggily. You were standing next to the seat beside him setting your breakfast down as he started to move out of your way. 

"Hey, no your fine. I don't mind setting here." you insisted and realized you placed your hand on his shoulder to prevent him from standing completely. He looked up at you and you removed it as you smiled at him. You felt as if you pissed him of yesterday, so you were going to try to make today a better start for...for whatever he was going to be to you. Friend now, maybe family later on like Sam and Dean. 

Pulling your chair out, you glanced up to see everyone staring at you. 

"Did I miss something?" you questioned curiously. 

"No (y/n), your just really beautiful." Dean said nonsarcasticly. What the hell did he just say? 

"Yeah, your gorgeous," Sam added seriously. What is going on. 

"Told you that you were," Crowley commented. You looked between all of them and after a moment of unphased expressions, Dean chimed in. 

"Cas, is there, I don't know, anything you may want to say to (y/n) here?" you turned your head to the angel. His expression showing anger before he returned your gaze. To which he quickly swallowed the lump in his throat and his expression changed to nervousness. He looked away from you as if he was fumbling with his words and stared down at the table.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~

(The night Before)

"Alright guys, I'm done with my room but I'm going to start in here tomorrow. I'm going to bed." you said rather exhausted. 

"I thought we were going to play a game?" Dean whined. 

"Tomorrow, I'm pooped." 

"Fine," he said rather flamboyantly. 

"Night (Y/n)," Sam called. 

"Goodnight," you answered. 

"You're not to tired for me tonight, are you love?" Crowley presumed with a smile. 

"Never to tired for you, just not in the mood tonight," you insisted as you looked over at the angel eyeing you closely. You gave him a once over and headed out of the room. Crowley called after you, but Castiel made a point for him to quit. 

"Stop," he said angrily. Sam and Dean looked up from what they were doing. 

"Stop what, Halo?" he revoked. Cas didn't understand his reference at first. Sam furrowed his brow a bit, and Dean sort of chuckled. Cas shifted his stare to Dean. 

"What? Cas it's funny, lighten up would you. Remove the pole up your ass, that has been there all day I might add, and enjoy a few jokes for a while." Dean insisted. 

"I'm not joking Dean," he turned back to Crowley. "Stop doing that with her." he demanded. 

"Doing what, feathers?" Crowley aggrivated. 

"You know what."

"True, maybe I do, but I don't know why it's bothering you so badly. Well maybe I know that too; the reason your feathers are being ruffled." Crowley stated. Castiels emotion and tone changed. "Your jealous, because you like her. Listen, puppy love is cute and all, but you realize she isn't that type right angel boy."

"I'm not jealous, I don't have feelings for her like a puppy, and you're not her "type" either," Cas commented. Crowley covered his head in his hands. 

"Somebody please get this celestial creature a news flash." he removed his hand and stared straight at Castiel. "Your feeling anger, because your jealous. Just like your brother." That comment stopped even Sam and Dean. They looked up at Cas wearily. 

" To what are you referring," Castiel questioned as he broadened his shoulder blades. Crowley stood his ground, he did not faulter. 

"You know what," Crowley mocked Castiel from moments before. 

"Enlighten me," Cas remarked as he took a step closer. 

"Lucifer. Your being like Lucifer; being jealous and all. But I understand, it's only natural. I mean, with you not able to flirt with her like I can, well... Do."

"I. Am. Not. Like. Lucifer." Cas said barely audible. His anger was rising. Sam and Dean exchanged looks. They knew if they didn't step in, something bad was about to happen. 

"Guys, "Hormonal dominant teens", can we not do this. Not here anyway. You see, not sure if you both remember, but Sammy and I had lost our home to a fire when we were little, due to Azazel, and Bobby's from the same reason just not the yellow eyed prick. Please don't make us homeless again. I actually like this place. And the last thing I need, is for you two fighting over that girl in the other room, which is basically my sister. And for you to destroy this place? All because of your hormonal testosterone levels? Especially you Cas, your not used to them, so ease up man it's not that bad once you take a step back."Castiel shot another death glare to Dean. "All I'm saying is ease up on the primal instinct?" 

It was silent for a while. Nobody said anything else for a long time. Until Crowley opened his mouth. 

"Tell you what lover boy, tomorrow if you flirt it up with her at breakfast, she's all yours. I'll back off. Unless she wants me instead; which is a high possibility." Cas looked up at him. Everyones words were phasing him. 

"I dont obtain those feelings for (y/n)," he lied horribly. 

"Yes you do Cas," Sam finally became a part of conversation. "We all see it. Hell, I'm pretty sure she knows too."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he tried. Silence again. 

"So, you wouldnt mind if Crowley tried fair game?" Dean quizzed. Cas looked at him curiously. "As in he flirt with her and see if she agrees for a date. Unless you like her and have feelings for her, then I do believe he wouldn't dare do such a thing." Cas eyed him for a while. He remained quiet. 

"Well?" Crowley pressed. A minute passed. 

"I do not aquire feelings for (y/n)." Castiel cleared. They all knew otherwise, but why wouldn't he admit it? 

"Ok, so tomorrow. Game on." Dean expressed as he looked away from Cas to Sam and Crowley before walking out of the room.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
(continued next day)

The whole table held smiles. Except for the angel, and he had yet to look up from the table once. You still had no idea what was going on. What happened when you went to bed last night. 

"That shirt is very becoming on you, love. If I were on you, I'd be cumming to." And so it begins again. You look away from the distorted angel and up to Mr. Promiscuous. 

"Your cheesy pick up lines may not go down in history, but I'll go down on you," you gave rather cheeky. You felt the angel staring at you. Glancing over to him, you saw how his expression was that of clear envy and jealousy. His daggers towards Crowley were as if he wanted to kick his ass. If he felt this way, why did he do nothing about it. Crowley and the other two chuckled to themselves as you quickly stood up. You put the parfait back in the refrigerator. 

"Where you going sun shine?" Dean was curious. 

"You all are acting weird and I have a lot of work I need to do." you left the room and headed to yours to grab your iPod. 

A few hours had passed before you made your way into the kitchen. A song by Nick Jonas played in your ear; Jealous. You found the irony in it, but sang along anyway. 

"I don't like the way he's looking at you  
I'm starting to think you want him too  
Am I crazy, have I lost ya?  
Even though I know you love me, can't help it"

"I turn my chin, music up  
And I'm puffing my chest  
I'm getting ready to face you  
Can call me obsessed  
It's not your fault that they hover  
I mean no disrespect  
It's my right to be hellish  
I still get jealous"

As you sang, you turned only to find the angel staring at you. He stood in the door way and eyed you by the sink. Was he going to do something? Were you hoping he would? Yes, you kind of were. You wanted the owner of those blue eyes to do something about his feelings. 

"Hey," you said blankly. 

"Hello (y/n)," he replied in his deep monotone voice. Yummy. You watched him for a moment. He acted as if he were about to say something else, but he fought against it. 

"Castiel, get your feathery ass in here!" Dean shouted from the other room. He turned his head towards the sound. You giggled to yourself and he shot those blue eyes back up to you with a hint of confusion. You answered his silent question. 

"Looks like something has crawled up his ass now," and for the first time, you saw a slight smile work its way up to the angels face. Gosh, why couldn't he just kiss you. Or even attempt to flirt. Hell, you would flirt back without question. 

"Cas!" Sam yelled this time. You shook your head and let out a laugh. 

"Maybe it's something in the air," you offered as you smiled back at him and turned to do the dishes. With a flutter of wings, you place your other head phone back into your ear. 

"I wish you didn’t have to post it all,  
I wish you’d save a little bit just for me.  
Protective or possessive (yeah),  
Call it passive or aggressive." 

Your voice faultered when a pair of hands wrapped around your waist. You turned to see Crowley was pulling you against him. He reached up and removed your headphones. You felt the bulge in his pants growing as he nudged it against your back side. You turned to face him and he moved his hands onto your bottom. 

"Nice package, need me to sign for that?" your desperation for a man's touch had only been increasing since you were introduced to the two. Yea, maybe you preferred the angels touch, but that was getting nowhere fast and your need for experience was high. 

"Mmmmm" he hummed. He left one hand groping your ass, and the other made its way up to cup your face. You rested your head in his hand and lifted your lips to meet his demands. His lips were hard and his tongue was violently forcing its way into your mouth. Yep, he's the fucker. Your hands flew up to his face and into his hair. You pressed your nails into his scalp, as he lifted you up onto the counter. He yanked your legs apart, and filled the space with his longing torso. He moved his lips from yours and started sucking your neck down to your collar bone. You closed your eyes as he sucked, surely leaving his mark. His head was tilted to the right of your neck and you let out soft moans. You needed him. Here, right now. The pulsing movement in your pants were creating moisture. 

As he was lost in you, drinking you in, you opened your eyes. You felt someone staring. You peered over Crowley's shoulder as his tongue slivered up and down your neck. You let out another moan, as your eyes interlocked with Castiel. Your small groans didn't diminish, but you watched the angel. His face was full of shock and disappointment. You closed your eyes, not wanting his mood to completely kill your moment. Crowley made his way back up to your lips and he smiled into the sloppy kisses he was now giving. You smiled back and softly rotated your fingers around in his hair. He pulled away a little and rested his hands on your inner thighs. 

"Want to go on a ate with me? I'll give you the D later," he questioned in a whisper. You laughed at his bold attempt to ask you out. 

"It depends. Can we drop the cheesy puns?" you questioned with a hint of laughter. 

"Anything for you sweetheart." he pulled away and you let your hands fall. He flashed you his intoxicating smile, and turned back from where he entered. He paused as he saw Cas standing in the door way. It was hard for you to tell, but it looked like Crowley's smile grew as he took in the angels features. As he started towards the door again he called back, " Be ready by eight love, were going tonight." If you hadn't been thirsty for him, you would have acknowledged his inconsiderate nature right then and there. 

Your eyes followed him out of the room and a stupid grin was displayed on your face. After a moment, you came back to earth and looked over a Cas. He was already staring at you. He looked sad, and the guilt started to kick in. You knew he liked you, and yet it seemed like you were only rubbing in what he didn't have. So much for being nicer to him today. Another guilt set in after a few moments. Yeah, you were ashamed because of what you were doing to him, but the second feeling was due to the fact that you liked rubbing it in, you felt bad because you didn't feel bad about making him jealous. The fact that you enjoyed him watching Crowley unravel you at your seems. 

You looked away from him immediately. You couldn't handle the sadness held, engraved into those blue beauties. You rubbed your hands on your thighs down to your knees. Pushing a slip of hair back behind your ear, you slid off of the counter and turned away from him. You picked up your dangling headphones and coiled them up, only to place them in your pocket. As you finished drying the dishes off, a blush crept onto your face as you recalled what happened not even ten minutes ago. You turned to head to your room when you noticed the angel hadn't faltered. His gaze had dropped from you to the ground, but his stance hadn't changed. You didn't know what to do, or even what to say, so you slowly slipped past him and padded your way to your room.


	3. Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The angel needs assistance. Seeing you with Crowley is more than he can handle. After finally admitting his feelings, he and Dean think of a plan. All the while you're alone with the king of hell.

Castiel stood there, watching you finish cleaning up. He had opened his mouth so many times, but his own voice failed him. He couldn't ask you not to go with Crowley, because you seemed happy about it. The last thing he wanted to do was to upset you or keep you from being happy. 

When you walked past him, he closed his eyes. You were so close to him, but yet so far away. Why couldn't he be more like the others. Women just wasn't his forte, he didn't know how to engage in a sentimental conversion.   
Especially with you. 

After thinking for a moment, Cas decided to join the others. Being alone with his thoughts was beginning to be to much. Within an instant, he stood next to the couch by Dean's left side. 

"Damn it Cas! We've talked about this!" Dean yelled. 

"My apologies," he looked down and nodded his head. Dean stared at him wondering what he wanted, but after Cas apologized he looked towards the ground. 

"Well...?" Dean quizzed. Castiel looked back down to him and gave off his famous confused expression. 

"Well what?" he asked cluelessly. 

"What do you want Cas?" Dean wondered becoming rather annoyed. He didn't like to be caught off guard, and Cas's actions put him in a bad mood. The angel looked at Dean solumly. 

"(Y/n)," he muttered after a few seconds had passed. Due to the long silence followed after your name, Dean pushed on, trying to maintain his patients. 

"What about her?" he questioned while raising his brow. Again Cas looked conflicted of Deans inquisition. He had answered what he had asked. 

"I want (y/n)," he mentioned stiffly. Dean froze as he put the pieces together. He shifted his weight on the couch to completely face the angel. 

"I thought you didn't have feelings for her." Cas removed his eyes from the shorter Winchester. He looked everywhere but at him. "Look Cas, last night and this morning were your opportunities. Crowley said he would back off, if you either admitted it, or flirted with her. Neither of which you did. You didn't even talk to her. Wait, have you ever even talked to her?"

"Dean, I don't understand the emotions that I'm being overcome by. I didn't know how to "flirt" and I have talked to her," he shared matter of factly. 

"Right, awkward virgin." Dean trailed off. Cas glared at him. "So, what did she say?" he paused a moment. "When you, uh, talked to her. What did you guys talk about?" a smile crept onto the his face. 

"You," he admitted. Dean showed confusion. 

"Why were you talking about me?" 

"Well, you and Sam actually. She said something must have "crawled up your ass" and Sam's. She said " maybe it's something in the air"." A scowl was represented on Deans features. 

"I'm going to talk to her about that. But for the moment, Cas, I'm going to give you some advice." Dean looked around the room to make sure it was only him and the celestial being. Castiel watched him and did the same. "See, (y/n) is like a sister to me. I've already told you this. And Crowley, he's changed a bit, but he's still Crowley. The harmless flirting was fine, actually it was kind of funny. Seeing them go back and forth with the worst pickup lines... " he trailed off as he saw furry building up within the angels irises. "But, it's kind of forming into something serious. I mean, he asked her out and when she came through here a while ago, she already had a hickey." Castiel stiffened and his jaw clenched. He didn't want to think of a demon marking you. "Some how I think you already knew about that," Dean clarified; taking in the angels feelings. "So here's what were going to do."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was seven-fifty and you had just put on your shoes. You had ten more minutes to spare before it was date time with Crowley. Earlier, when you first got back to your room, you went through your closet and chose what to wear. 

Now as you stood into the mirror, you saw a complete stranger. A girl, taller than you due to the heels, stared back into the same (y/e/c) eyes. They were the only things that were left unchanged. The girls hair was curled, it made a lasting effect compared to your straight hair. The makeup on her face tanned up her complexion, and allowed the color of her eyes to stand out. It also hid the scar you had earned from the first hunt with the boys. Your ears held little silver studs and your lips were a vibrant red. The lavender dress alone on the girl was enough to question your identity. The fact that it was a dress first of all, and second that it was a girly color. All these changes made you a different person. You liked your appearance, but at the same time, it had been a lot of work. 

You were ready to go, but you needed help with the black belt that tied in the back. You grabbed your clutch and headed off to find the boys. The living room and kitchen were empty, so you headed towards the library. When you entered, Sam, Dean, and Castiel had their backs towards you. No doubt looking on the computer. As you were walking in, you noticed your polish on you right hand middle finger had been messed up. You were trying to fix it as you were almost to them. 

"Hey guys," they all turned to you and they all stopped. You of course didn't notice, as your nail was giving you fits. "Can someone..." What ever its just one nail, "Can someone help me tie my back," you began at normal speed, but slowed as you took in their expressions. Deans jaw was dropped, Sammy looked at you wide eyed with a smirk hanging on his lips, but the angel was the one that stood out. He completely quit blinking, his breathing stopped, and his face, like Sam and Deans, held shock. The angels whole demeanor was new and it was something you hadn't seen before. It was as if he was looking at something for the first time. Something new that he had never seen before in all his creation. A blush pulled its way across your cheeks before you could look away. 

"Wow, little bit. You look... amazing." Dean stuttered. Castiel shot his eyes to Dean for a second, shooting daggers through him. When his attention was back on you, you smirked. 

"Eat your heart out," you joked as you stared back at the angel. You were doing it again; playing with his feelings. Sam shook his head and let out a laugh. As Castiel watched you intensely, you slowly walked over to him. Dean and Sam weary about what your intentions were. You now stood in front of the angel; his breathing stopped. 

"Will you help me tie my bow?" you questioned innocently. Looking at him, you turned your back towards him and slipped your curled hair back over your shoulder out of the way. You didn't see the realization hit him. He would do anything for you, however; he didn't know how to do what you were asking. You didn't see him silently beg Dean and Sam for assistance as he held the two strands of ribbon in his hands. 

"I'll get that for you love." lifting your head, you saw Crowley making his way over to you. He pushed Castiel out of the way and took the strands into his own hands. Within seconds, the belt around you was tight and tied. You turned and Crowley took your hands in his. 

"You look hot," he explained rather loudly. You giggled like an overly excited school girl. 

"You don't look so bad yourself," you admitted. 

"Get a room, you two!" Dean shouted and quickly regretted his statement. He gave the angel an apologetic glance. 

"That is the plan squirrel. Are you ready?" he turned back to you gracefully. With a shake of your head, Crowley took you by the arm and began to leave without even a dismissal.

"Well play that game tomorrow," you insisted as you remembered your promise from the night before. Dean produced a light smile.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the date, Crowley took you to a hotel not even a block away from the restaurant. The feeling the date gave you wasn't what you were hoping; it didn't give you the sensational feeling you were looking for. You suffered through more pathetic pick up lines, forced smiles, and suppressed the loneliness you were feeling. Crowleys presence didn't send electrifying chills; not like the feeling you got around Cas. At the thought of him, you must have formed a frown. 

"Something wrong?" Crowley asked suspiciously. No, the angel didn't matter now. The throbbing ache inbetween your legs could not be omitted by the angel. Hell, he could barely talk to you. Imagine going down on him. Oh the emotions you could make him feel. The waiter brought back the check and your attention. Your silly fantasies diminished. 

Now, you were on the hotel bed. Trapped between the hard bed and Crowley himself. Other than the different scenery, this moment was a replay of earlier in the kitchen. 

His tongue trailed down your neck, sucking your collar bone. Moans escaped your mouth as his hands slid down your thighs. His thumbs tugged at your panties and he eased them down to your ankles. Your hips contracted as his hand cupped you. You bit your lip. The anticipation getting the better of you. Pushing him off, you slid on top of him and started unbuttoning his dress shirt and loosing his tie. Making your way down to his zipper, you felt the prodding bulge. 

Within minutes, you were both fully undressed. The longing you had for him filling you was more than torture. He slide on a condom, and positioned himself above you. Glancing down at you, he smirked an evil glow. He kissed you again, pinching your lip with his teeth. He gave you another once over, before his concentration took over.


	4. A little too far

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been two weeks, and the days pass like months. Hurting inside, you don't know how much more of this feeling you can take. In hopes of changing your mood and a few other things to follow, you may have taken a joke just a little to far.

It had been almost two weeks after your date with Crowley. Since that night, you had only seen him twice. And those encounters were short lived. You kept to yourself, you didn't want to talk about anything with the boys and you could barely be around the angel. 

The looks they all flashed you were that of warning. Watching you, waiting for you to react in some way. They knew you and Crowley parted off in a not so pleasant way, and Dean was prepared to kick Crowleys ass if you were to even show a phase of sadness. Sam watched over you, and like Dean, he was ready to leap at Crowley. He also believed introducing him to you, was yet one of the million mistakes he and his brother had made. Castiel treated you like normal. He didn't say a word to you, but would occasionally nod as if to say hello or agree to whatever you were rambling on about. Things were going ok, but the concealled sadness was getting to you. 

You awoke the morning of exactly two weeks after the date. As you removed yourself from your bed and into your bathroom, your thoughts overcame you. Looking into the mirror, you saw the same girl you saw two weeks ago. The one before the drastic changes. You saw her smile, and for the first time in a while, you felt everything was going to be okay. That today would be a better day; a great day. Keeping your pjs on, you headed off to the kitchen, humming a tune. By the time you reached the library doors however; you were full on singing. 

"It's like I've been awakened  
Every rule I had you breakin'  
It's the risk that I'm taking  
I ain't never gonna shut you out!"

"Everywhere I'm looking now  
I'm surrounded by your embrace  
Baby, I can see your halo  
You know you're my saving grace  
You're everything I need and more  
It's written all over your face  
Baby, I can feel your halo  
Pray it won't fade away"

You entered the library to greet the boys. They were already staring at the door before you came in. Flashing them a smile, you walked over to Dean and wrapped your arms around him; your chest to his back. Turning, you moved over to Sam and hugged him. He returned the squeeze and gave you a curious look. Looking between him and Dean you expressed your feelings. 

"I'm tired of being sad. I want to put the past behind me." you said meaningfully to them. You did a 180 on your heel to face Cas. He watched you intently as you gracefully made your way over to him. Giving him a smile, you hugged him too. Awkwardly, but you made him equal to your affections towards Dean and Sam. He didn't have time to act, before you pulled away; still shining your smile. 

"I'm starved, have you all ate?" you asked as you looked towards the brothers. They shook their head no and you turned toward the angel that was not only 3 feet from you. He too shook his head and you proceeded.  
"How about some pancakes?" Dean expressed excitement for your offer. He loved your pancakes. Well, who were you kidding. He loved food. Sam agreed, and the angel nodded his head. 

"What are you talking about Cas? You don't even eat." Dean mocked. You glanced at the angel, his poor face becoming redder by the second. Smiling for reassurance, you placed your hand on his that was placed upon the table. He shifted uncomfortably and he watched your hand on his until you spoke. 

"Perhaps he was just being polite," you reasoned. His eyes flicked to you and you removed your hand; sliding it off slowly. Turning, you started to hum:  
"I can feel your halo, halo, halo  
I can see your halo, halo, halo  
I can feel your halo, halo, halo  
I can see your halo, halo...  
Halo, ooh ooh..."

Once you were in the kitchen the song dispersed from your lungs. 

"Hit me like a ray of sun  
Burning through my darkest night  
You're the only one that I want  
Think I'm addicted to your light  
I swore I'd never fall again  
But this don't even feel like falling  
Gravity can't forget to pull me back to the ground again"

"And It's like I've been awakened  
Every rule I had you breakin'  
It's the risk that I'm taking  
I'm never gonna shut you out!"

Turning, the angel stood right behind you. 

"Holy Shit Cas!" you screamed and dropped the pan onto the floor. He immediately bent down and picked it up and took two steps back. He handed you the pan back, and watched your hand that you placed on your heart. 

"My apologies (y/n). I did not mean to frighten you." he finally admitted. He didn't have to though, you could see it in his eyes. You calmed your racing heart and stared at him in shock. And your mind started planning out a small joking way to get back at him. 

"It's okay Cas. I just,... that's the second thing that has surprised me this morning." smiling at him, you removed your hand from the beat and placed it on his shoulder. "What did you need?"

"I was only listening to you sing (y/n). Your voice or rather beautiful." he forced a grin through his nervousness, and it vanished as soon as it showed. "I'm not saying that your voice is the only thing beautiful about you. You are beautiful; all of you. Even your soul and your body..." he stuttered as a huge red blush covered his face. You quickly ended his embarrassing rambling and put him out of his misery. 

"Cas, I... Thank you." your arm dropped from him and a frown formed on his features. 

"I've made this awkward," he stated and took a step back. He was about to take another step when you reached for his hand. 

"Cas, can we talk for a second." he showed an emotion you hadn't seen on him before. He looked terrified. Funny how seven words can make an angel cringe. He shook his head and you motioned towards the kitchen table. He followed you and he stood by as you sat down.  
"Will you sit with me?" staring up at him. Immediately, he scooted the chair out and sat. He folded his fingers together in his lap and stared down to the floor. You used this time to take in his features. 

His hair was a little frayed on the sides. His nose and his mouth formed together in one line from the angle you were sitting. The massive speckles of his blue eyes were more prominent due to the lighting. He too, was beautiful. 

"Cas, I'm aware of the feelings you have for me." His panic stricken look made you continue. "I know it's embarrassing, but I think we need to talk about this." his glance faltered and his Adams apple bobbed in his throat. You put your hand on his thigh to draw back his attention. "I need to ask you something," you bargained. His eyes became soft and focused while they trained on you. "This really isn't a question. Well, it is but I already know the answer. I just need to hear it." His lips parted as he awaited your inquisition. "If there were ever a time and I was in trouble, would you help me? " you asked seriously. His brow creased and he tilted his head to the side. For the first time, his nervousness vanished, and his confidence in interacting with you boosted. 

"I would do everything in my power not to dissapoint you," he reassured. The weariness was on the edge of his boost. The nerves taking back there territory. The realization that you had yet to remove your hand resurfaced his memory, as you slowly started to sliver it up. 

"Cas,... I need you. Your different from the boys. You'll understand and I need you, now more than ever. I need your help Castiel." A noticeable chill arose from him at the mention of his full name. "I'm pregnant," you ended. 

His expression didnt change. It was as if he was trying to take it all in. He sat there and waited as confusion settled in. You watched him intently, trying to predict his next move. But never in a million centuries, would you have thought you were about to set off the angel. All at once his calm alluring atmosphere changed to something dark. The blue sapphires held vengeance, and the negative effect only increased by each passing second. He stood from his seat angrily. He turned away from you for a second and turned back. 

"You had intercourse with him!" the angel yelled at you. The volume and the tone frightened the living shit out of you. You hated people yelling, and you just pissed off an angel of the lord. Was that classified as a sin? Did it matter? His booming voice was enough to make your teeth chatter. Seeing him like this, unglued and furious, frightened you. You were terrified. Of what he could do to you to punish you. None of that ever crossed your mind before, because he was kind towards you. Never once did he reciprocate in a negative effect. Now, well now he was pissed; furious; hell, incensed even. An incandescent glow radiated off of him. His appearance was white hot. You felt small compared to the creature that concealed itself in the vessel. Directly after he yelled at you, Sam and Dean joined in on the party. 

"What in the hell is going on?" Dean questioned looking at Cas. Cas glared at him and then back to you. From the transition from Dean to you, you saw what looked like a hint of despondency. The next second you heard the flutter of wings and an elimination of one being. Cas had left you alone with the boys. 

"What just happened?" Sam broke the inward silence. You looked up from the consuming distance towards the brothers. Deans brow raised high and his lips formed a flat line. Sam held his arms open, as he talked with his hands. "(Y/n), what happened. Why did Cas yell at you?"Sam pushed easily. Due to the chirping of crickets, Dean intervened. 

"(Y/n)," he raised. Damn, why did there have to be yelling. It was only a joke. 

"I may have,... I may have upset him." you say wearily. 

"You think? What did you say?" Hesitating you looked at Dean with a pleading expression. "Hello?" 

"It was just a joke. I never meant for him to rebound like that. That was... That was terrifying." you managed as tears pricked your eyes. Sam took in your emotions and realized your feelings. He stepped to you and you flinched. Dean watched his brother and looked at you, as he saw what Sam had. Even with all that happened, you wanted Deans comfort. You ran at him as the tears started to fall. All the hurt that had built up inside from the past two weeks, was released by your tears. Dean held you tight and Sam came behind you and rubbed your back. 

"It's okay," Sam provided. Through your sobs, you choked out your thoughts. 

"Cas, hes angry. I've never seen him so outraged. I'm scared Sammy." 

"Cas would never hurt you. You do know that right. Also he doesn't understand jokes. He doesn't interpret the funniness that we see." Dean tried to make you calm. He stroked his fingers down your hair. He glanced at Sam and motioned to the table you and the angel had occupied. Sitting you down in your chair, he and Sam pulled a chair up close and hung to you. 

"You didn't see what I saw, Dean. He was infuriated." 

"Like Dean said, Cas would never hurt you. Not only that, but he couldn't. He...He loves you." Sam explained and accidentally revealed a known secret. Dean elbowed him. 

"Sammy," he warned. 

"I know." is all you could say. They both looked at you with squinted eyes. 

"How long have you known?" Dean questioned. 

"Since we were introduced." you admitted weakly. The brothers flashed looks at each other. 

"But what about all the flirting with Crowley?" Sam quizzed. Dean answered for you. 

"She likes Crowley, that's what you do when you like someone Sammy. You flirt." 

"No I don't." They both scanned you. 

"What? Then why did you flirt with him. Wait why did you sleep with him?" Sam asked. 

"I didn't. I mean, I almost did but I couldn't."

"What?" Dean raised again as he crossed his arms to his chest. 

"Why do you think he hasn't been around? It's not because he got what he wanted and was done. I, I couldn't do it. I couldn't sleep with him and he got pissed off." they thought for a minute before Sam began. 

"Then why did Cas get his feathers all ruffled up." You looked away from them and to the ground. 

"(Y/n)," the older brother demanded. 

"I told you. It was a joke, I didn't think he would take it that far." You shuddered at the memory of the frightening angel. 

"What did you say?" Sam wondered. Between the both of them, you realized maybe the "joke" was a little too much. Especially for the angel and the feelings he had towards you. Dean gently kicked your shin. 

"OW," you exaggerated. His patients was wearing thin. "Okay fine, I may have told him I was..." mumbling the last part, neither of them caught what you said. 

"Told him you were what?" Dean stammered. Sam's eyes grew wide. 

"(Y/n)! Why would you do that. Especially if you knew how he feels about you?" Dean looked between the two of you, still unable to make the connection. 

"It was a joke Sam. You know ha ha."

"What is going on? What did you tell him?" You didn't answer. 

"She told him she was pregnant Dean," Sam said through gritted teeth. This took Dean back, and he sat back thinking things over.  
"Do you realize what a pain in the ass Cas has been these last two weeks. He's been worried sick about your health and physical stability. Worried about what Crowley did to you and what he was doing to you. He's kept Dean and I up nights, wanting us to call Crowley. We didnt because we knew he would attempt to kick his ass." 

"Wait, you told Cas you were pregnant from Crowley?" Dean stiffled a small smile. He suppressed a fit of giggles as Sam shot him a scowl. 

"It's not funny Dean." 

"It's kinda funny," Dean regretted as Sam frogged him in the arm. "I mean, (y/n) that was wrong. Sam's right, playing with the angel's feelings isn't right. However; it is funny, but it's not okay." he explained and Sam backed down from the authoritive state shaking his head. 

"I didn't say it was Crowleys, but it was implied. It was funnier in my head." Dean laughed softly causing you to do the same. Little Winchester looked at you and Dean. 

"You guys are unbelievable." he stood to leave.

"I can't help it, I enjoy Cas being jealous over me. It makes me feel that I'm needed." Sam paused over you and Dean stilled too. 

"You've been making him jealous, on purpose?" Sam asked and Dean helped him finish his sentence. Shaking your head, they thought to themselves. You continued.  
"To think that someone feels that way about me, knowing and seeing through their eyes how much they want me, it's-its enthralling." 

"Why couldn't you sleep with Crowley?" Dean pushed. Pausing your rant, you realized where this was headed.Your hesitation led to Sam's next question. 

" It's because you feel the same way about Cas, isn't it?" Sam prowled. With that said, it made since to him, and also cleared up Dean's confusion. 

"(y/n)," Dean whispered. Looking up at them the tears pricked once more. "(y/n), if you like him, why are you torturing him?" Shooting your head up to them, you quickly started to explain yourself. 

"I wasn't-well, I did, but it was for the best. Yeah, I want him, as much as I can tell he wants me. But you both realize it's not safe. A relationship...it comes at a cost. And from what you have told me, he doesn't need any more distractions. Especially dealing with heaven. Yeah, I made him jealous. Yeah I eyed him as he watched Crowley kiss me. But I did it for him, he needs to know that I'm not something to depend on. I let everyone down, I always do. I didn't want to raise false hope so he could fall farther down when he realized it." 

"Little bit, Cas is a single angel among millions of others. You didn't want to distract him, so you settled for the king of Hell?" Dean inquired. This stopped your train of thought. 

"What did you say? K-king of...of Hell?" The brothers questioned each other silently before speaking aloud. 

"Didn't you tell her?"

"No Dean, I didn't. You said you were going to." Sam objected. 

"No, I said that we 'should' tell her. I was implying that you tell her." Dean mentioned. Sam gave him the needed "bitch" face. 

"Crowley is the king of Hell?" you shouted. They looked at you as if it was a normal occurrence. "Great. I just told an angel that I was impregnated with a demonic half-breed." That comment made Sam chuckle. Dean to laughed. "It's not funny. He probably thinks I'm on Hell's side."

"It is funny; now anyway. You told your lover boy you slept with a demon. That's why he became despotistic." Dean laughed harder. 

"Look, I understand you trying to protect Cas and all, but you've already occupied his mind. He's already distracted over you." he admitted. "From the way he's been acting, he's already fallen for you. And if you feel the same about him... Then maybe, you two should, you know. Become a thing." Sam watched his brother try to give relationship advice. He failed miserably, due to his relations being one-night stands. 

"What he means is, whenever Cas comes back, if he comes back, talk to him. He won't stay angry with you, if anything he will just try to avoid you for a while. Tell him the truth. All of it. Especially explain the joke and maybe mention you and Crowley never, you know." 

"Had sex," Dean added to Sam's refusal of the word. Sam looked at Dean and nodded. 

"When do you think he will come back?" you asked overly eager. You wanted to grant him solace. 

"I don't know. He's an angel, he does what he wants. He'll come back around eventually." Dean explained. "In the meantime, I believe this is all cleared up. When he returns, say sorry and have nice, rough, makeup sex and all will be fine." 

"Dean!" Sam expressed shockingly. 

"What, all this weird, awkward sexual tension between (y/n) and Crowley and her and Cas, is getting to me. Seriously, you like Cas, choose cas, have sex with Cas, and calm his rising testosterone levels. For now, I'm going to go get me some pie." he said smiling his big toothy grin while standing. 

"It's like ten in the morning," Sam insisted. Dean gave him a look of hurt.

"It's never too early for pie."


	5. So not sober

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the series of untimely events, you are left to keep up with a drunken angel.

The rest of the day dragged on. You stayed in your pjs due to the amount of lacking effort you had to change. You weren't going anywhere anyways, and you had no one to impress. Not anyone who was here. Castiel had remained absent, and you had the slightest information on when and if he would come back. 

To escape from the discomfort you felt, you slipped into artist mode. You pulled out your sketch book, iPod, and headphones and began to draw. At first you started to create random lines, but an image came to your mind. You were inspired by the song that played. "Always on my mind" by Willie Nelson. 

"Maybe I didn't love you  
Quite as often as I could have  
And maybe I didn't treat you  
Quite as good as I should have  
If I made you feel second best  
Girl I'm sorry I was blind  
You were always on my mind  
You were always on my mind"

The irony to your current predicament made you feel insecure. You were sorry for hurting him, and more than anything you wanted him to forgive you and return. He was on your mind. Always. When you flirted with Crowley, when you were kissing Crowley, and the night you almost gave yourself to Crowley. The night he was fixing to push into you and you rejected him. He wasn't Castiel, and you couldn't pretend anymore. And even now, when you drew and listened to the music through your ears, the angel had a special place; in your heart, and in your mind, where your thoughts couldn't escape from. 

"And maybe I didn't hold you  
All those lonely, lonely times  
And I guess I never told you  
I'm so happy that you're mine  
Little things I should have said and done  
I just never took the time  
But you were always on my mind  
You were always on my mind"

You drew his face. His eyes you colored in with a waterish blue. His hair, you frayed, the way it had looked earlier that day. You drew the long tan trench coat, and his fingers that cascaded out from the sleeves. His expression was your favorite. The confused~squinty eyed angel stared back at you. You wanted him here with you. "Now more than ever" you thought to yourself. Leaving the book, you removed your headphones and headed off to search for the boys. The emptiness of interaction was consuming you. 

As you entered the library, the grandfather clock began to chime. It stopped at eleven. Sam was hunched over the computer and Dean was looking at a busty Asian beauty magazine. 

"Shouldnt you do that in your room?" you teased. They looked up at you and Sam smirked. 

"Hey now, we are an open family with our love relations." he mocked. 

"Gosh, I sure hope not" 

"Me either," Sam agreed. You sat down next to him and read the screen of the computer. The current case would be a regular salt and burn, not to far from Bobby's old place. Sam glanced over at you and examined your expression. Seeing him, you gave him an attempted smile.   
A flutter of wings grabbed your attention. 

The three of you stared at the dazed angel. Held onto the nearest wall in which he landed. His gaze never left the ground once. 

"Cas?" Dean stammered. The angel stood unfaultered. Sam sighed. 

"Not again," he whispered. He stood and stepped toward the angel. "Are you drunk again," Sam questioned. Deans face lit up. Clearly he missed the first drunk angel. Castiel looked at Sam with his own "bitch" face. 

"I told you not to ask stupid questions," the gruff voice answered stiffly. "And if you must know, I found a few liquor stores this time around." he said more softly. Sam looked at his brother and you for some kind of help. 

"Here, why don't you come sit down," Sam intregued. He really did care for Cas. More than you and likely everyone else realized. He wrapped an arm around him and moved him over to his own seat, across from where you and Sam were seated. He placed him down and you took in his features. 

His stubble had grown, producing a five o'clock shadow. It looked like he had been gone for a few days rather than hours. His eyes looked exhausted, and his personality was faulty due to the mass amounts of poison. How much had he had. You didn't even know angels could get drunk. He sat with his fingers interlaced in his lap, and he glued his eyes to the table. 

"Liquor stores?" Dean quizzed Cas as he stood on the other side of him. He smiled an adorable cheesy grin, you thought you'd never see. 

"Dean," Cas rambled still smiling. "it's as if one liquor store, but more. All at once. There is one of them, but three more just than one." Dean chuckled at Castiels jumbled statement. 

"Now Cas, I thought you weren't fond of drinking? Something about the bland taste of molecules?" Dean wondered. 

"Normally yes. She's altering my customs," Cas exasperated as if their whole conversation was implied at you. The brothers glanced at you, humor in their countenance. 

"What do you mean by that Cas?" Dean pressed with huffling back laughter. Why were they doing this? To make you see what and how the angel felt. Or just to see his reaction from the effects of alcohol. Either way, all you wanted to do was comfort him. 

"She's pregnant, Dean," he explained sharply. As if Dean should have know the reason why but instead was playing stupid. He was, but the angel was exaggerating in tone. "Not only did she have sexual relations with the enemy, but he inseminated her. The child is an abomination; I was made to kill these,... These things," he waived his hands around. Silence filled the room. "But I can't," he whispered loudly. "I can't hurt her Sam," looking at the other brother he finished his point. "The child is in her, it's part of her. Even when the child is unoccupying her, I won't be able too. It will have a part of her in it." he frowned. "My conventions are arranging because I-I need her. And if she possesses a demonic entity, I'm entitled to love the fiend, because she will love it. In human terms, it's the motherly nature for her to. Not only that, but she will never forgive me for removing "the little shit"," he used quotations. He clearly had no idea you were nearby, he hadn't recognized your presence. 

"Where did you hear that phrase from? " Dean asked oblivious to the other statements. 

"It was said by a human in the box." Castiel explained. 

"You mean the TV?" Sam smirked. 

"It's the same thing," he debated. You weren't into this off topic conversation. Your mind reeled on what all he had just said. He was worried about how he would learn to love your demonic child. The child that didn't even exist. Just so he could have you; because he needed you? Even in his drunken mannor he could still warm your heart. He still wanted you, even after intentionally making him jealous. But would he forgive you about lying. Yea sure it was a joke, but it went to far. Now an angel of the lord was completely wasted sitting at your kitchen table. Was this also a sin? If so, all you can do is add it to the list that you'll deal with later.

Angels arent supposed to become intoxicated. But they are also not supposed to feel or express emotion. You have a broken angel on your hands. A heartbroken, rebelling, drunk angel; and it was all your fault. Without realizing, you stood and began to make your way around the table. As soon as you had stood up, the dazed angel shot his vision to you. Dean and Sam watched motionlessly as you confronted Castiel. 

Standing infront of him, he locked eyes with you. Even drunk, you could see his ocean eyes light up at the sight of you. "So beautiful" you heard him say before you moved his hands, sat in his lap, and kissed him. You don't know who was more surprised; Cas, Dean, Sam, or yourself. 

He sat there shocked, his hands didn't seem to know where to go, but his eyelids had long been shut. Even at first his mouth was unmoving with yours, it took him a minute to return your affection. Sam and Dean watched this go on, but you didn't see there facial expressions. 

Pulling away to break the kiss, a smile tugged your lips. His expression was panic; he hadn't wanted you to stop. His arms found a place around your waist and pulled you back to him but he didn't kiss you. He held you and he nuzzled his face in your neck. In his current state, bravery conquered over him. You kissed him, and so he didn't plan on letting you go. 

"Cas," you whispered for his attention. "Cas," you attempted again. He looked up at you through the corner of his eye. "Hmmm" was the only response you got. You glanced at Sam, and he was smiling a kind smile and Dean had his million dollar smirk at play. "Castiel, I'm ready for bed," you explained as you tried to pull away. 

"No (y/n), I want you." he fought and wrapped around tighter. It kind of hurt, but it was because he was unaware of his strength. 

"Cas," you protested but he cut you off. He let go of you and his eyes filled with tears. 

"I want you (y/n). I love you even though you're hurting me. I won't leave again; not like he did. Please, I need you," he pleaded. He slowly said the last sentence and laid his head on your collar bone. His arms dangled to the side.   
Lifting your arms to meet his face, you pulled his chin up so he would look at you. 

"I was going to say that I'm ready for bed, and I need an angel to watch over me." you explained. He looked up at you confused. "Come to bed with me," you whispered in his ear. His expression didn't change so you stood and grabbed his hand. "We will see you guys in the morning," you said to the brothers. 

"Hey, angels have the ability to impregnate humans like demons, so... use protection," Dean smarted off. Cas let out a laugh and the smile stuck on his face. You pulled at his arm to get him to stand. His stance faultered and he almost fell back down. You positioned him to where he was leaning on you. 

"You got him?" Sam asked cautiously. Turning to him and his perv of a brother, Cas smiled into your neck. 

"Yea, I got him. And we're not having sex Dean, I need to talk with him. Sober... Sober him and so I don't need him running off just to return like this again."

"Yeah, that's what they all say (y/n). I'm just trying to prevent a pregnancy," he called after you. As you were almost out of the door, Cas stopped to look back at Dean. 

"She's already pregnant Dean. I cannot insert sperm into-" 

"Oh, hey now. Yeah (y/n), you do need to talk with him." Sam agreed. 

"Come on charming angel," you said as you tugged on him to follow. 

Further down the hallway laughter grabbed your struggling attention. You stopped walking and the angel jerked back due to the elimination of motion. 

"Why are you laughing?" smiling wider he spun to face you. It took him a while to explain. 

"Because I love you, and your finally holding me."

"You know, I like it when you've got some poison in your system. You open up and I know what you're thinking." you giggled with him. Pulling him along, you slid your door open and sat him on the side of the bed. He sat straight for a minute before resting his back on the mattress. 

"Stay there and don't move," you instructed. He pivoted his head at you with his unfazed smile. You headed to the bathroom to brush your teeth for the night. Looking down at your clothes the need for you to change increased. If the angel was anything like humans, he would barely even be buzzed,if even that, by morning. 

Once back in the room, you saw him still laying on your bed looking up at the ceiling. He felt your presence and he glanced quickly at you before turning back. 

"What is that human saying? Counting Sheep before sleep?" 

Smiling to yourself you answered. "Something like that." reaching into your drawer, you pulled out a clean spaghetti strap and an old pair of basketball shorts from highschool. Back when crushes were more simple. While taking off your shirt, you heard the bed springs. Castiel sat up and watched you intently; his vision never leaving your eyes. 

"Stop-....stop doing that," he turned his head when you spoke. Slowly he stood up and some how stumbled over to you. As you watched him, he pulled you to him and placed his face in his spot on your neck. This time however; he started to kiss you. 

Trailing sloppy kisses up your neck, to your jawline, on your cheek and to the lips. His actions took you by surprise. He was gentle, this is what you wanted. Not rough, forceful love; but the kind where you didn't even have to try in order to feel. You kissed him back and moved your hands around his neck. Your fingers twirled his nape hair around in circles and he pulled you even closer. Pushing your tongue out of your mouth, you stroked it on his lips; begging for entrance. He opened his mouth slowly and you pushed on through. 

You didn't know how long you were entwined with him. His hands had been placed on your lower back, but they slowly moved down. They stilled on your ass for a second and continued down to your thighs. In one swift motion, the angel picked you up and you wrapped your legs around him. He leaned you against the wall and left your lips smiling and headed back to your neck slowly. He stopped where he had started, and he began sucking on your neck. A hickey would certainly be there by morning. Finally he pulled away and his forehead was against yours with his cheesy grin. 

"You're very prepossesing, (y/n)," he admitted. You knew where this was going. And it was coming fast. Kissing him with one last peck, you loosened your grip of your legs from his waist. He watched you with warning as if he had done something wrong. His grip slackened and almost became unbalanced. You held him by the collar before placing him back on your shoulders to get him back on the bed. 

"Look, before we... before we become intricately intimate or anything, we need to talk. And you need to be sober. I'm going to finish changing, and then we can cuddle, but no... No playing Dean and random bar girl, okay?"

"But cuddling is considered intimacy," he argued without anger. 

"Yes, but I know you like me and I like you. Not to mention how long I've wanted to cuddle with you, I think cuddling is fine. I just don't want to wake up tomorrow and talk only to realize we made a mistake. I also don't want to wake up and you not be here," you showed pointidly while putting your shirt on. You walked back over to the drawer and grabbed your shorts. He watched you as you removed the previous pair and put on the new ones. 

"Hey, Dean Jr., eyes up here." you warned as you walked back. He laughed at you. "Do you need to... Nevermind. Angels don't need to do that stuff. Wait, you don't sleep either do you?" he shook his head no. "Well, to make things more comfortable for me," you explained as you reached at his coat. "I'm going to make you look comfy." He watched openly as you removed layer by layer of his clothing. As you removed the tie, you left his white dress shirt on and moved to his belt. Unbuckling it and his pants, you received a moaning laugh. You didn't dare to look at the angel. With the sound of his zipper, you slid off his shoes and socks followed by his black pants. He was left in the dress shirt and his boxers. 

"Stay here for a second," you ordered. As you left the room you shouted back, "I mean it." you headed off to Deans room. It was dark in the bunker, apparently him and Sammy retired for the night. You knocked on the door. 

"Yeah?" he said curiosly. 

"Hey, it's me. Can I come in for a sec?" 

"Yeah," he said reasurringly. You opened the door and he had turned his lamp on and was waiting for you to continue. "Well?"

"Oh, um sorry. Could you... Could I um maybe borrow.." he stopped you with a huge ass grin. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"If you wanted to borrow a condom, all you had to do was ask little bit."

"What! No, I wasn't... Dean that's not what I was asking. Can I borrow a T-shirt of yours for Cas tonight?" he waited for a moment with his grin. 

"Yeah, you know what drawer their in." he accepted while pointing over to his dresser. Grabbing the first one you were headed back to your room. 

"Little bit?"

"Yes?" you popped your head back in. 

"You sure you don't need a condom? It's better to be safe than sorry."

"Dean! I don't need a damn condom. I'm not having sex with a drunk angel."

"What about tomorrow when he's sober?"

"Good night Dean!" you hissed. 

As you came back to the room, the angel sensed the tension. You went to him and began to unbutton his shirt. 

"(y/n), are you okay?"

"I'm fine," you admitted irritably pushing off his shirt. Damn, his etched muscles were perfect on his vessel. Sliding his head through you explained. "Dean was just being an ass. Put your arms through." he did as he was told. You were both dressed and ready for bed. You picked up his clothes you had scattered and walked them over to your desk. As you were folding them neatly his question began. 

"Why are you afraid of "sex"?" he quoted. 

"What? Who told you that?" he took in your every move. "I'm not afraid of... of it, Cas. I just don't think in your state, your capable of making the right decisions. Plus, we need to talk about things. Because if we talk it through and you get mad again, I don't want to be hurt. And vice versa, seeing you like this is,.. It's just painful to know that I pushed you into this." he considered it. You folded his tie and moved back over time him. 

"Why are you afraid to say the word?"

"I'm not afraid to say, the word. I just don't like it. I don't like how it sounds."

"Would you rather call it intercourse?"

"Not particularly," you answer as you showed him where to scoot. You turned off the lamp and slid in next to him. You placed his arm around you and he automatically craddeled you. Placing your arms around his torso and your head on his chest, he began talking again. 

"What about copulation, fornication, coitus, carnal knowledge, mat-"

"Oh gosh, Cas please stop," you begged. 

"(y/n), I need to know what you want to call it. Would you prefer a slang version?"

"No, Cas. I'd prefer you just stop talking about the reproduction process." he was silent for a moment and you began to think the worst was over and that you could sleep. But he proved you wrong. 

"You prefer to call it the reproduction process?"

"No, I don't like to call it anything. I don't like talking about it."

" There's quickie, whoopee,bonking, nookie, making love-"

"Castiel! You are an angel of the lord. You don't need to know these things. They are very polluted words with the same meanings. This talk will only contaminate your pureness." you tried to stare at the angel through the darkness. 

"I just need to know what you prefer to refer it to."

"Why? Why do you need to?"you asked curiously. 

"For when our time comes." you shifted onto your elbows and turned the lamp back on to glare at him. 

"Ok, first of all, our time might not come. That depends on how mad you are at me. Second, if and when it comes, I hope we're not talking about it, but instead doing something about it." 

"Why would I be mad at you?"

"I told you, well discuss it when your you again. 100% poison free." He looked away from you and looked saddened. "Cas, we could call it napping. That way it has a literary meaning and a secret one...for us." you offered. Looking at you, a small smile appeared. "Is that okay? Can you please hold me and stop talking so that I can sleep?" you pleaded. The weight of your eyelids were almost to heavy to fight with. 

"I promise to remain silent," he agreed. You turned to switch off the light and turned into his lips. They were soft and again he was gentle. It lasted for a good ten seconds before he retracted and held you to him. 

"I really do love you (y/n)," he whispered. 

"Cas?" 

"My apologies, I am sorry," he insisted as he moved his mouth and kissed your head. You forgave him immediately. After all you did love him and you loved to hear him say it. You move half on him and layed your head in his neck. This position was extremely comfy. You could lay here with him forever.


	6. Try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to discuss things with a certain sobered angel. After everything that has happened, you don't expect much. Especially with all the pain that you've caused. Will he forgive you? Or is it too late for second chances?

You awoke to the sound of rain pounding on the roof. Your eyes remained closed, but you could tell it wasn't morning just yet. The cool air of the air conditioner blew over the top of you and then you realized the heat under you. Everything came piling back in your mind, and you remembered the angel; tucked in with you. Was he still affected by the alcohol? Or was he back to normal. 

"Cas," you managed to squeak out. He shifted you and embraced his arms around you tighter. 

"Yes (y/n)," he questioned as he lied one of his hands to hold your head to him. 

"Are you still,... You're not drunk anymore are you?"

"No," he stated as he nuzzled his face to yours. Looking up at him, you continued your inquisition. 

"Do you... do you remember anything?"From what you could tell, a blush covered his features. He shook his head lightly and voiced his answer. 

"Cas," you began again but he stopped you. 

"(Y/n), your tired. Finish resting,we can discuss what you wanted in the morning." Looking at him, you quickly pecked his lips with yours, and rested your head back on his chest. 

"I love you Cas," you stated as you closed your eyes. Before you dozed off, you heard him finally say the words he tried to escape from the other times he had been sober.   
"I love you too."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you awoke again, it was late morning. You stretched your whole body and you noted you were mostly on Cas. After a long yawn, you finally met his gaze. 

"Good morning (y/n)."

"Morning Cas," you attempted a smile. He frowned and he presented his confusion. You sat up and pulled yourself off of him. Sitting on the edge of the bed, and stretching again you stood. A bathroom break was needed. On your way, you remembered the angel you, out of nowhere, completely forgot about. Turning to him, you gave him instructions. 

"I uh-i will be right back. You need to be right there when I come back. I don't need you flying off and intoxicating yourself again." he watched you intently. 

"I told you I wouldn't leave again. Not unless you wanted me too. I apologize for my indecencies, you said you needed me and I failed you. I fled." he explained with an even bigger frown. 

"Just... just don't move. Please," you headed to the bathroom. After you relieved yourself, you brushed your teeth and washed your face. Honestly, you were just procrastinating. He still believed you were childbearing. Opening the door, you went and sat on the edge of your bed beside the angel. 

"So,..." you hesitated and his gaze was straight at you. Looking away you carried on. "I um,... We... Shit Cas, I'm not..." you cleared your throat and his expression was increasing with worry. "I didn't sleep with Crowley." finally managing. He sat up and his confusion grew. His head tilted to that certain degree and his lips opened a couple times as they had closed. 

"I don't even have the shared feelings that he has for me. In all honesty, I never have. I uh,... It's just been about you."

"I do not understand. If you felt no correspondence with him, why did you coerce him with endless flirtation?" pausing again, you didn't want to answer this. 

"I did those things, to-to make you jealous." you tried as you looked him eye to eye. The confusion changed to hurt. 

"Why?" is all he asked. 

"I'm human?" you shrugged. "I-I like you. A lot, maybe like doesn't cover it. I just, I want to say it's a human thing, but that would be a lie. I liked making you jealous. It helped feed my desire to be wanted. When he kissed me in the kitchen Cas, I didn't want you to see that, but at the same time I did. I wanted you to do something about it." It took him a while to answer. 

"I thought you were happy. I did not want to disrupt your entitlement." He really is too good for you. 

"I pretended it was you, you know. Up until after the...date. I couldn't anymore, it didn't feel right to." his eyes faultered from yours. 

"So you've not been inseminated?" you cringed at his definition. 

"No, I'm not pregnant. That was yet another attempt to rise your jealousy. I never meant for you to be that hurt by it. It was a careless mistake on my part. I didn't think you'd react.. Like that." he said nothing after that. He sat there, thinking to himself. 

"Cas, I know your mad, but just tell me what you're thinking. If you don't want me, I get it. Everything I've done to you has been a bitch move." shooting his head up to you, he stood up and moved by you. As he lingered above you, you bowed your head in defeat. Of course he didn't want you. After all you've done, did you expect him to. No, in fact, you knew deep down, that it would come to his dismissal. 

Out of the blue, his hand was placed on your cheek. Lifting your head up, he peered down at you. You watched his eyes and they didn't leave from you. Slowly, he crouched down in front of you to where he was level with you. On his knees, he tilted forward and placed a soft quick kiss on the tip of your nose. That caught you off guard. His face was inches from yours and a smile nor frown had surfaced. 

"I'm sorry for my actions of yesterday morning. I feel I have frightened you." he said in more of a question. Your eyes shifted to your knees and he let out a small sigh. "I have," he admitted with a final frown. He pulled and straightened his back and his head bowed like yours had. 

"Hey, it's okay. Sam and Dean said you would never hurt me." looking back at you, hurt clear in his eyes. 

"But you believe otherwise." before he could continue looking at the floor, you shifted on your knees to inch closer to him. He watched you as you did so, and you reached for his hands that rested on his thighs. 

"Believed. I know you won't. I rest my faith in you." you explained as you rubbed his hands in yours. Without warning, his lips shot to yours and within an instant you were pinned between him and the side of the bed. Even with his own abrupt action, he pulled away. 

"I want you (y/n)." he whispered. Shit, maybe you should have taken the condom from Dean after all. He nuzzled you and he wrapped his arms around you like a vine. Momentarily, he had himself leaned up against the bed, and you in his lap; your right side against his chest. 

"What do you mean exactly?" you quizzed. 

"I love you (y/n). You said you loved me too. I want you to be mine." he stated blankly. 

"Even after all I've done to you? After all the hurt I put you through?"you asked appalled. 

"I forgave you. Your not with child, and you said you didn't engage in any sexual- "napping" with that demon. I need you. I want you to be mine." he repeated. "Even if you were expecting a demonic half-breed and had "napped" with him, it wouldn't matter. I need you." Why was he so persistent with the need for you?

"Why do you need me Cas?" he didn't respond to you. You had to lift your head and force him to look at you. "Castiel, why do you need me?" This time he answered with a lasting kiss and after, he nuzzled his head into your neck. For a second he cuddled into you, but he soon retracted. He moved his arms in order to move your hair. He examined your neck carefully and you were oblivious to his intentions. He grazed a certain spot on you. 

"What are you doing?"

"I've marked you," he said sadly. What? What was he talking about? You sat up and tried to look at what he was saying. You had to stand and walk over to your mirror. In the reflection, you saw the huge hickey that he had gave you the night before. 

"Holy hell Cas. There's no way I can cover this whole thing up. I will never hear the end of it from Dean about safe se-napping." taking a quick glance back at the angel, he was disappointed. Walking back over to him to where he remained on the floor, you rubbed your fingers through his hair. He lifted his head and apologized. 

"It's fine, Dean can get over himself."

"No, I hurt you." he explained as he stood up. 

"What? Cas, it doesn't hurt nor did it when you were doing it. If anything I enjoyed it." confusion lit him up.

"You did? Why?" this caught you off. You didn't want to explain the sexual satisfaction that it had given you. 

"It's a love mark, angel," and to spare further embarrassment, you leaned into his lips. He however was too distracted for your escape. Pulling away he touched the area again. 

"I don't understand. You like this?" shaking your head you smiled shyly are him. "I want to heal it," he insisted. 

"What? No,Cas it's fine. I want." he still didn't understand but he finally gave up with a forfeiting expression. The sadness was stuck in his eyes.   
"Cas, it will let Crowley and other males know that I'm taken. That I'm yours." the life in his eyes flared up as well as a grin. Talk about bipolar mood swings. 

"Mine?" he questioned to make sure. 

"All yours," you relieved. The smile grew and he drew into the other side of your neck. Before you knew it, he was sucking on that side as well. You let out a giggle. Man, was this arousing.   
"Caaaasss,"you pleaded. He withdrew with a huge grin. 

"Mine," he restated. More assertive this time. He swooped down underneath your chin and started on another one. You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned into him. He needed to stop before you weren't able to grasp yourself anymore. Pulling away, he was fixing to start on another one, but you caught him with your lips. 

"Cas, Dean is going to jump my ass as it is," you warned. 

"Dean Winchester will not yell at you. He will not touch you," he ordered. Damn that was hot.  
"You are mine now. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. Physically or mentally." You knew he meant well. Him already being domineering over you though, how would this effect things. Would it last like this for a while or forever. Did you really care? Just as long as you were in control in the bed room, the rest should be fine right? You also knew it would be a little while before things would transition to your new boyfriends specific needs and surrounding family. Speaking of... 

"You never answered me Castiel." He straightened up and the tense atmosphere dropped. "Why do you need me?" His intentions to avoid the question was clear. Just in time, there was a knock at your door. 

"Yeah?" you asked as you looked past Cas. 

"Hey, breakfast is ready if your hungry."

"Okay, thanks Sam," you credited. Cas shifted uneasily. Looking at him, the same jealous look stained his eyes. "Don't do that," you whispered but his expression didn't change. "Cas, they are my brothers. I love them, yeah, but I don't see them as anything further. I love you, and I'm yours. There isn't anything to be jealous about anymore." you knew all those times you made him feel this way, would soon find a way to bite you where it hurts. Immediately following, your stomach grumbled loudly. You glanced at your gut and then back up to Cas with a small smile. "Apparently, Sam woke my appetite up." 

You closed the space between the angel. He watched you as you inched closer. "Cas, smile. At least act like your happy," you stated as you wrapped your hands around his neck. His head tilted. 

"I am. It's not Sam nor Dean I'm worried about. I just... Perhaps I could bring you your food." he tried. You placed a kiss on his lips and an Eskimo kiss to his nose. 

"Come on, silly," you interlaced your hand with his and pulled him with you. As you walked down the hall, the smell of waffles lingered in the air. Mmmmmmm. Right before you entered the kitchen, Cas pulled you into him. Out of nowhere, he pinned you against the wall and his lips were on yours. He began to trail light kisses down your neck and finally he nuzzled into his spot. 

"Mine," he whispered. Not understanding his reasoning behind this, your stomach growled again and he pulled away and led you into the threshold. When you entered, you understood everything. 

Crowley sat at the table across from Sam. They were arguing over something to do with purgatory. Dean was at the sink, but he turned to greet you. 

"Good morning (y/n)- good god. What the hell happened to you?" he was referring to the "love" marks from Castiel. The angel gripped onto your hand with his own. 

"More like "what in heavens name" happened to you?" Crowley remarked. This had been the first time he'd spoken to you in weeks and he acted like nothing had happened. Sam offered an apologetic smile. Dean didn't dismiss his gaze. He looked you over a few times before he took a seat next to Crowley. Giving Cas a smile, you let his hand go and motioned him to the table. He shuffled to the seat next to Sam and sat there glaring at hell's king. 

After you made your plate, you moved to Cas and he offered up his seat. However; placing your hand on his shoulder like you had done before, you set your plate on the table and bowed to his ear.   
"I want to sit with you." His eyes were on you and you saw relief in them. He pulled you to him and you could still reach the table. Taking your first bite, you looked at Dean who was staring you down. He looked from you and a few inches up to Cas a few times, confusion circling. The angel wrapped his arms around you protectively and sat his chin on your shoulder. He stared Dean down, because Dean raised his brows and looked away quickly. He started up a conversation with his brother and Crowley, only Crowley wasn't paying a lick of attention.

He focused on you and the arms that entangled you. He watched as you took a few bites and then how you would smile up at the angel. He took it all in, especially when Cas nuzzled into you and you would let out a light giggle. Sam and Dean also was aware of the current events that took place. Sam smiled and was content with the whole idea of you two. Dean was skeptical; he liked that you both were happy, but he wanted to be sure you were playing it safe. And Crowley, well even though he didn't show it, he was upset you had picked Cas over himself. 

When you finally finished, you turned to kiss your new boyfriend. Hmmm. You liked the sound of that. You stood and took your plate to the sink. As you washed the plate, your thoughts took over. Cas didn't have to explain why he needed you, you already knew why. It was the same reason you needed him. Sure, the next few weeks or even months could be on edge due to jealousy problems, but surely if it's meant to be, everything will work out. You were willing to fight whatever challenges you would need to face in order to be with your angel and make him happy. 

"Hey (y/n), what are you doing tonight?" Dean questioned. Turning, you saw Cas staring a hole through him. 

"I'm not sure. I'll be with him though," you smiled. Cas looked at you and his mood calmed. 

"Well, how about game night. We still haven't played." Making your way to Castiel you shook your head. You all needed to clear your heads, and what better way to do so, than laughing some of this tension out. 

"That sounds fun," you said to the group. "You okay with that Cas," hoping you hadn't ruined any unknown plans. Taking you in his arms he answered. 

"A game or two would be okay." he smiled at you. 

He was trying, and that's all that mattered.


End file.
